Since the day I had been involved with nursing, I had never thought that I might see everything that I had seen until today and how holy this career might be. The only thing I thought that time would be that the chances to get a job is better and easier and also the salary is not so bad. During my college period, I had seen some light cases of sick people, chronic accident people, dying people and etc. Today all the prospects had changed totally. The latest thing happened yesterday was after my patient had been several time shocked and sedated he was still awake , alert, rational and was able to ask me whether I had eat yet or not. But suddenly after I finished my shift he collapsed and coded. So nothing gonna be such a surprise for me if I seen such thing anymore.
Now my career prospects are within the critical care area that would most likely I will take care of critically ill patient. Sometimes I did wonder what might the patient think about when they see other people around them that was so sick, about their financial problem ( since medical expense is not that cheap ), their families and etc. I had counter several patient that was so sick enough but still worried on how the children wanna pay the hospital bills for them and did not want others worried about them. The first time I saw a patient died and the families grieving it surely made me feel wanna cry also but today it had been a common thing except certain prolong stay patient that we had been took care. That surely so touching when we see how the spouse put some hopes that their partner will recovered even though there is obvious enough that they will not recover from the illness.
Whenever we see critically ill patient, some of them might look good at the outside but they internally unwell. I had seen a lot of this type of patient when they come look so healthy without got any serious illness but when do some check up they are not. Whenever I think of it, I had always wondered how my life will end up. Is it gonna be so difficult or is it so easy? How my family will react? How will they feel when I am gone? How? How and How? As I encountered the grieving people each day I wonder how might I feel if I am in their shoes. Today maybe I will not react much as I saw all the grieving people but maybe I might react like them if I lost my love one too.
Each time I see some so ill patient and the low chance for recover patient, I had always hope that the family can let them go faster cause whenever they give hope to them the patient just like cannot go away peacefully. It is just so pity. We are the one who know their medical terminology so it is just sad enough to know that they wont recover ever again even the family denied it when they were told. I do believe that actually the patient is suffering inside the never awake body. The most difficult part would be when we did resuscitate the patient and they just go. When you see how anxious the family that waiting outside it will be so heart broken when the doctor announce that their love one had gone.
Tomorrow will going to be a year since I officially get my nursing certificate. All I hope will be that I will never leave this career as it is, will be more grateful with how I live in this world, take care of my health, do good to others, learn from other people suffering and can encourage people to never give up even they know they might gone soon cause God is always watch us. To all my colleague and my ex-college friends always do good deed to others cause God always gonna pay for our kindness because that is why we are born to be nurses. Cheers….^__^